Dirty Christmas Dad Jokes

Laugh Out Loud with Christmas Dad Jokes: Dirty Christmas Jokes Collection

This year we put to together a hilarious list of Dirty Christmas Dad Jokes. We even added a few work friendly dirty jokes. Don't forget to check out our other Christmas themed Dad jokes like 28 Christmas tree Jokes . 

We also have our Best Christmas Dad Jokes 


Best Tested 25 Dirty Christmas Jokes 2023

Christmas Joke 1

1. Why is Santa so damn jolly?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

2. Why doesn’t Santa have kids of his own?

He only comes once a year.

3. Why does Santa go to strip clubs?

To visit all his ho ho ho’s.

4. So my girlfriend wanted a white Christmas…

But when I came on her face that morning, she didn’t even thank me.

5. How do snowmen make babies?

Snowballs, of course.

Christmas Joke 5

6. Why does Santa always land on your roof?

Because he likes it on top.

7.What did Santa sing when he went down the chimney?

“Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…”

8. Why are Christmas trees better than men?

Even the small ones give satisfaction.

Christmas Joke 8

9. Why was the snowman smiling?

He could see the snowblower coming down the street.

10. Is your name Jingle Bells?

Cause you look ready to go all the way.

11. Why did Santa send his daughter to college?

To keep her off the North Pole.

Christmas Joke 4

12. Why was the elf having trouble with his libido?

He had low elf-esteem.

13. Why is Christmas like an orgasm?

The closer it gets, the louder you get about its arrival.

Christmas Joke 5

14. What did Miss Piggy give Kermit for Christmas?

A ham-job.

15. Why do elves laugh when they run?

Because the snow tickles their balls.

16. What do priests and Christmas trees have in common?

Their balls are just ornamental.

Christmas Joke 6

17. Have you heard about Adolph, the brown-nosed reindeer?

He can run as fast as Rudolph, he just can’t stop as fast.

18. Why does Santa’s crotch make noise?

Because he has jingle balls.

19. What do you call a johnson too big to fit in a sock?

A stocking stuffer.

Christmas Joke 7

20. What do you call a kick to the balls on Christmas?

A Nutcracker.

21. What do you call a Christmas movie all about oral s*x?

Miracle on 69th Street.

Christmas Joke 8

22. What’s better than an elf on a shelf?

A thot on a cot.

Christmas Joke 9

23. How does Santa practice safe s*x?

“He always wraps his package before shoving it down the chimney.”

24. What do you get if you deep-fry Santa Claus?

“Crisp Cringle.”

Christmas Joke 10

25. What do you call Santa’s helpers?

“Subordinate clauses.”

Christmas Joke 11


Give Santa a Good Laugh with Dirty Christmas Jokes Collection

Listen, folks, Christmas ain't just about Santa stuffing his jolly self down the chimney or Rudolph guiding the sleigh with his flashy nose. Let's add a little sauce to the ho-ho-hos! Ready to roll on the floor laughing with some dirty Christmas jokes? Get a load of my bulky bag of humor cause I'm your Christmas dad, armed with some cheeky puns! I ain't Claus, but these naughty, yet funny, zingers could even make the big man's belly jiggle like a bowl full of jelly!

Hang on now, before we delve into our dirty Christmas jokes collection, let's set things straight. By "dirty", we mean mischief-filled, charmingly offbeat, and guaranteed to pull a chuckle out of even the stiffest Scrooge. Ain't nothing that'll land you on the naughty list...unless, of course, Santa has a bone to pick with harmless rib-ticklers. In which case, dear old Claud...I mean Santa...may need a lil' lesson in humor.

Now, who says Christmas can't tickle the funny bone? Forget sugar plums! 

Nonetheless, it's Christmas time, and the spirit of laughter should be as infectious as the holiday cheer. With our dirty Christmas jokes, prepare to set the Christmas dinner table cackling like a pack of rowdy elves. Our merry sleigh of Santa jokes, ho-ho humor, and oh-so-funny Christmas puns are ready to land in the town of belly laughs.

So there you have it, folks! Our jingling, mingling selection of naughty Christmas fun. Dig in and spread the ho-hos along with the cheer this Christmas. Remember, a good joke is the best Christmas cracker, and each guffaw is the star atop your Christmas tree. Santa, or our beloved Claud, wouldn’t want it any other way!

New Santa Claus Inspired Dirty Christmas Jokes to Brighten the Holidays

It's all ho, ho, ho, until someone cracks a dirty Christmas joke, amirite? Johnny, our resident funny guy, has decided to add a little jingle to our dirty Christmas jokes collection. Now, dirty jokes ain't an all-out mud wrestling championship – we aren't getting down on the literal dirt here. Instead, these are just some of your absolute favourite Santa Claus inspired funny jokes with a pinch of adult humor. So, prepare yourself and call your funny-bone; it's going to receive a laughter workout! 

Ah yes, the beloved, jolly ol' Santa, the main man, or should we say, "Claud," of our dirty Christmas jokes. Why, you may ask? Well, isn't it funny how Santa always seems to 'Claud' around on the snow-covered roof late at night, making us worry whether he might slip and yell, "ho, ho... woah!?" That's just one piece of our cheeky, santa-inspired collection. 

But we won't let Santa 'Claud' his way through all alone; we've got his reindeer games included too – and trust us, Rudolph's red nose isn't the only thing that's going to be lit this season. Even though these jokes are part of our dirty Christmas jokes collection, they're the kind of dirty that will make you laugh but not make you send the kids to bed early. Well... unless there's a Santa cookie at stake. 

And who can forget the most important part of Christmas - the call! Not the phone type – the fun, "Santa, come ho, ho, ho-ing down the chimney" type! Now, isn't that the real dirty job here? But, our good ol' Claud does it every Christmas without failing. His commitment to his 'dirty' job makes for some great dirty Christmas jokes. 

However, it's not all just about one jolly man. You can't mention dirty Christmas without throwing in a festive mix of ho, ho, ho! After all, what's Christmas without its trademark laughter, right? So we've poured in enough ho, ho, ho into these dirty Christmas jokes to make Grinch's heart grow three sizes! 

Because, when it comes to Christmas, jokes are like gifts under the tree - the more, the merrier! And let's face it, what could be brighter than sharing funny, dirty Christmas jokes inspired by Santa (or Claud) to lighten up the holiday spirit? So, put on your Santa hats, spread out a Christmas cheer, because Johnny can't wait for you to ho, ho, hold your bellies laughing!

Gathering Around the Tree: Sharing Laughter with Dad's Dirty Christmas Jokes

Every Christmas, we gather 'round the ol' Christmas tree, twinkling with lights as bright as dad's demeanor when he's got a fresh bunch of dirty Christmas jokes to share with the family. Indeed, there's just something about the combination of boughs of pine needles and corny one-liners that brings a twinkle to the old man's eye. So, if you're looking for a few holiday laugh-out-loud moments, you've come to the right place. Let's dive into the Dad's dirty Christmas jokes collection, a festive treasure trove of those you have to explain to your grandparents, and others that might make you choke on your eggnog.

What's the deal with dads and dirty Christmas jokes, you ask? Well, who really knows? When the parents find out the truth about Santa Claus, they receive a special gift: the ability to tell embarrassingly funny dirty Christmas jokes. Maybe it's the joy of the Christmas season, or the thrill of making Christmas a wee bit blush-worthy, but our dads cherish this unique privilege.

'Tis the season to bust out the brilliantly bad jokes, and dad's got plenty under his tree! Picture this: You're singing Christmas carols around the Christmas tree, everyone's in high spirits, and you glance over to the man perched on the arm of the sofa, beaming in anticipation. A sip of his eggnog, a clearing of his throat, and he's ready to fire off his first – what’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet – punch line: The Christmas alphabet has Noel! Make sure you're securely seated on your Christmas tree pine needle-proof blanket, because the laughter might just bowl you over!

So, dear readers of our Christmas dad jokes article, gather your loved ones, put on your favorite ugly Christmas sweaters, and prepare to share some good ol' fashioned Christmas laughter. Laugh out loud with dad's dirty Christmas jokes, the sort of humor that makes you groan and chuckle simultaneously and carry you all the way around the Christmas tree and back. These are the sort of Christmas yarns that'll have you holding your sides in mirth, while also dreading the way they’ll spread around the family WhatsApp group like Santa Claus on a midnight snack hunt. From one-liners about Donner's digestive issues to cheeky quips about the elves' north pole, there's something for everyone in our dirty Christmas jokes collection. So, get ready to find laughter and good cheer in the dirtiest corners this Christmas, and remember, it's all in good fun!

Dad's Favorite Santa Claus-themed Dirty Christmas Jokes, a Must have Collection

They say "Laughter is the best medicine", but did you know it's also the best Christmas ornament? That's right! The dazzling lights, the beautiful ornaments, the presents under the tree - they all take a backseat when dad comes out with his favorite Santa Claus-themed dirty Christmas jokes. So, gather 'round, it's time to ho, ho, ho your way to the funniest Christmas yet! 

Do you remember dad's classic dirty Christmas joke - the one about Santa and his 'sleighed'? It's as much a part of Christmas as Santa himself. But, if sleighed jokes aren't your thing, fear not! There's more 'dad-tastic' humor to come! And if you think his jokes are naughty, then you haven't heard his collection of filthy Claus anecdotes. It's okay though, as Santa knows dads are just a little extra claud-like around the holidays.

Christmas is a time for family, joy, and endless dad jokes so bad they're good. Have you ever wondered how these dad jesters, these jollifiers of Christmas, 'Claus' laughter in the corners of our living rooms, year after year? Yes, the secret sauce of countless dads' crackerjack humor is their arsenal of Santa Claus-themed dirty jokes. Over the years, these festive gags have become as necessary to the holiday spirit as the jolly old elf himself. During the heart-warming craziness of Christmas, dad turns into this comic legend, the main event, the 'Santa' of the show, cracking everyone up with his shamelessly hilarious, dirty Christmas humor.

With dad's bag full of dirty Christmas jokes, you better not pout, you better not cry, you better not fuss, I'm telling you why - 'cause dad got jokes, folks! A snowy Christmas eve, a packed living room brimming with beloved family and friends, twinkling lights, mulled wine, and mince pies, all punctuated by dad's one-liners. It's going to be loads of laughs this dirty Christmas, and you're definitely going to have a belly ache from chuckling too hard!

Christmas isn't just a season, it's a feeling. And what better way to feel the genuine warmth, love, and laughter of this festive period than with dad's legendary Santa Claus-themed dirty Christmas Jokes collection. This selection of dad humor is a must-have if you want to tickle your funny bones, or should we say, tickle your 'Christmas' bones. So, this Christmas, let the old man take center stage and spread the humor, the hilarity, and the ho, ho, hos. Don't worry, you'll be okay. After all, 'Claud' bless us, everyone! 

Subscribe and Laugh Out Loud with Our Weekly Dirty Christmas Jokes

Get ready, folks! We're about to dive into the belly-laugh-inducing world of dirty Christmas jokes. From Santa Claus' questionable decisions to controversial elf labor practices, we've got it all packed in our 'Laugh Out Loud with Christmas Dad Jokes: Dirty Christmas Jokes Collection'. There's no better way to get in the Christmas spirit than by tickling your funny bone with our Christmas jokes. Whether you're a man in need of a good laugh or a woman searching for the perfect joke to call out her man, we've got you covered! 

Subscribe to our weekly delivery of Christmas-themed hilarity to make sure you're never short of a festive chuckle. You might be wondering, "What kind of man would laugh at dirty Christmas jokes?" The answer is simple-a man with the heart of a child and the humor of a wise guy. We don't just call it dirty Christmas, we call it fun. And whoever said Christmas had to be all about the refined and the holy? Let's add a dash of the wickedly funny.

We know you're itching for a reveal-click, don't deny it. And we promise, no coal from Santa this Christmas, only a gut-busting collection of dirty Christmas jokes. Remember when your dad would gather the family around the Christmas tree and share his corny dad jokes? Heed the call of nostalgia this season and carry on the tradition with your family. We're all for keeping the spirit of Christmas, but who said it couldn't be accompanied by a side of funny dad jokes?

Whether it's a reindeer that has had one too many or an elf with questionable work ethics, our collection of Christmas jokes will brighten your holidays. Just imagine the scene-it's Christmas Eve, and you're seated around the fireplace, hot cocoa in hand, cracking up at our Santa Claus-themed dirty Christmas jokes. There's nothing that says Christmas more than shared laughter and warmth, right?

So, what are you waiting for? Don't miss out on the laughter train. Subscribe today and put a hearty ho-ho-ho into your holidays. Santa might just give you bonus points for your jolly spirit. Join us as we redefine Christmas with our weekly dose of jolly Christmas jokes and let's make 'Laugh Out Loud with Christmas Dad Jokes: Dirty Christmas Jokes Collection' part of your Christmas tradition.

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Written by: Victoria

Christmas Collection